I am FAT...

Ok let me give you some boring stuff to mentally chew on first. I am fat. There it is said, I have polycyctic ovarian disease and it keeps the weight on my and it is a struggle to get off a single pound. Also I am an emotinal eater since junior high, which is also when I became depressed because of a million different teenage reasons. Now with that said I was not fat in school but everytime I looked in the mirror fat was all I could see because some kids called it to me one day and I being totally and utterly stupid believed them.
I am fat now. I am not going to be one of those people to blame it on a disease but I will own up to the fact that it was mostly me because I gained most of my weight before being diagnosed with 'PCOD' and I do not have the will power to get rid of it.
Trust me I tried a million time and the closet I got was losing 30 pounds only to find out I am pregnant with child number 2 and to gain it all back again and more.I have tried to do the buddy system because I can totally work out better with other people then by myself but everytime someone is there for me its only once and then they are gone or they just don't bother at all.
Now knowing your fat and hearing it every damn day is two different things. I hate going outside to play with the kids or walk down the road or go to the store because people always ask when are you due? ( I had my baby number 2 nine months ago) so I laughingly say no I am just fat but the people who ask are people who see me around and know of me and some of them even know me!! if I was pregnant they would be one of the first people to know.
Look I am writing this just so people who read this can know that yes I am fat but there are alot of reasons and if you are one of those people who comment about fat people or say things to fat people then maybe you should consider first what is going on with them...I know everytime I hear it, it breaks me down a little bit more on the inside and the first thing I do is go eat because food makes me feel better and trust me I have tried everything that I could afford to not do this.
If you are fat like me just knowing someone out there is probibly going through the same thing right now feels good. You are not alone and even right now as we speak I am still trying to get this weight off but I am eventually going to tell people to F--- OFF if someone else asks me about my belly. People are so rude and should really learn to keep their comments to themselves.
I guess that is enough said...I shall keep you all posted on the weight issues.