Awkward conversations...

So, yesterday while out for a walk I ran into an old friend. Funny to even say that...old friend, like we're 90 or something when in reality we are both pretty young. But anyway I say old friend because it has been at least 6 to 8 YEARS since we hung out. I've been out of school for six and we eventually grew apart even before we got out of school.
Anyway, I use to know this girl like the back of my hand...and she use to know me. There was a point that our parents knew where we were and that we were together..yes i know that friends will eventually drift apart and we each move onto our own lives (in which she is doing very well) but still, I can't help but feel a little sad for what we use to have.
The whole point of this was that when ever we see each other now (which is about once a year she comes back into town to visit her mom) we are reduced to the awkward hello's...how are u and nice weather conversations. How did things get like that?! it's terrible.
I am like this with most of the people I use to be friends with...I knew the secrets of these people and they knew mine! (only childhood stuff but for us it was important stuff). I just can't help but think about what I would really like to say to her but instead we act like complete strangers just passing through..in fact I have had more intimate conversations with a complete stranger then an old friend.
Yes I do have friends and in fact my best friend from school is still in my life i get to see her twice a year due to her schooling being so far away and I also named my daughter after her...but I still miss the way we were all friends back in the day.I don't even have contact with some of the people I use to be friends with but all these people for the most part keep in contact with each other.
Its the conversations and the realizations that we are all different people now that make me wounder how this happened and if there would or could of been anything that we could have done to change the outcome. I have tried to keep in contact and make play dates and invite them for coffee but things always come up or they never show up. The friends I have now are awesome but we are no where near as close as the little click i use to hang with in school..another questions...why do we get so close to people through school?
I use to think that I would be with these people forever but alas...we are down to the awkward conversations.

To choose or not to choose...shouldn't even be a question!!

So i was gonna write about something alittle different and a little less upsetting but i just found something that came to my attention and it truly upsets me and figured i would vent it out.
Without naming names or anything else i read somewhere that someone was choosing between going to a night club and hanging out with there little kid and they chose the night club...like WTF seriously...since when do parents choose between going out to have a good time and hanging with ur kid..need i remind people that u HAD a good time making that kid!!! once in a while is nice don't get me wrong since i had my son i have been to the club or around here its just a bar maybe 3 times in 4 years and i plan things ahead of time and book the babysitter and leave numbers (i am a nervous person when i go out and want to call like every 5 minutes) but i do have my fun but when i am seeing parents stating that they are going out with this one or that one or here or there and no mention of their kids then i am thinking who the hell is raising the child!!! call me old fashion or whatever...call me down to the dirt i don't care but if u are going to have a child then u raise that child to be a thriving member in the community or where ever u live...my mother taught me this way and this day and age i see parents as young as me or single teen moms just drop there kid off to their parents and then go off and still be teens..i am sorry but u should not be a teen any more u need to be a responsible mother...teen or young parent or old for that matter i do hear of much older women who don't raise their kids either and spends all their money out to the bar...just makes me sick!! nobody should choose anything over their child..i can only imagine how i would of felt if i grew up knowing my mother choose everything else over me and i would never let my kids feel that way ever! (btw..my mother was never like that either, her and my father were both very loving and caring parents and a way to tell that they were...i was mad at them for most of my teen years because they cared and i just thought they didn't want me to have fun but now that i have kids of my own i TOTALLY understand)
on a different note i went for a walk with my kids today which was awesome...my little girl loves going out so not a sound out of her and my son is just a non stop chatter box...our adventure today was reading the back of cars and trucks to see there names..he was facinated to hear that automobils had names to them so that is what we did today walked around for like an hour looking for cars and trucks to read...everyone of them passing by and the ones in parking lots...total fun and no joke he is one smart and funny little dude.
Because I am a young parent i do sometimes long for the days of my teenage years which was like a very short 6 years ago for me to go dancing and run around like i use to but if someone asked me today if i would change anything in my life i would not...even though i am tired all the time..up at night and for the most part can't drink not that i even want to cause i don't really like much...would rather drink coffee or pepsi still there is so much to being a mom..but like everything in life its a fun learning experience and eventually they will grow up and be gone on with their lives and then who's to say that i am to old to go out and dance and hang out like i use to...totally not...ur only old if u believe it..lol
some days i feel it...lol now don't get me wrong i still get to go out..me and my hubby believe in having some time off where he goes out and i watch the kids or i go out with friends and he watches them...not for all night now but for a few hours for coffee and back home again..
anyway people this is what i have to say...a child did not ask to be here you brought it into this world and u need to take care of it...and not like its some chore or duty that u don't want to deal with but with love, hugs and kisses and disapline. babies are fragile or as i tell my son breakable and we need to make them strong and show them that we love and care for them..one day my kids will each have a turn hating me for some stupid reason but at least when it matters most and counts the most they know that i was always there and always will be there when they need me and that i always will love them...
ttfn and maybe alittle something later...

And here I am

So this is my very first post. My very first blog in fact...so here's a little something before i sign off. I am 24, married for almost 5 years and i have two awesome kids, My son who's 4 and my little girl who is 8 mths. I am still figuring out how this blog stuff works and I am not the best at spelling or grammer or remembering that my i is suppose to be big when referring to myself..so please forgive any typos...lol
I am here to voice my point of view on life then again that is why most people are here but hey I just feel like i need to voice something before i explode..yes i have a lot to say and glad that i can say it here. I do not plan on offending anybody or nothing like that just ranting and raving with some comedy in there somewhere i guess...lol
I'm a little corney or so i am told especially my snese of humor or according to some people my lack there of...i think i am pretty funny. Not stand up comic funny but as funny as the average person. There will be a lot of stuff in here about me being a mom because that is what i know.
I am a mom.
Plain and simple and have been for 4 years and no I DO NOT know everything!! came across a mom in a store once and she was a new mom who I knew her child only being a few months old and my child being about 3 at the time and i over heard her talking to her friend who was pregnant and she said and i quote *trust me i am a mom and i know everything* i bit my tounge and walked away...what mom knows everything..like really every person in my opinion is still learning until the day they die! as i said i know her but is not friends with her...did not like what she said in the least..nice that she has confidence but there are other reasons i do not like this girl either and we will not get into that.
I like coffee a lot! started getting into when i was pregnant with my first child (my son) cravings is all i got to say...lol and i like to read and watch tv and cook and dance and I love music and drawing...i have not picked up a pencil in a while due to not really having time with the kids around but i can draw...probibly not worth being called an artist but i know i can draw..i do have a gift there but just not fine tuned.
So my husband and I started dating my last year of high school and have been together ever since. Things went faster then planned but hey it happened for a reason..got married and had a baby about a year later and that was the fast part along with the baby growing into a big kid and now having another baby...man they grow fast. Things weren't exactly as planned but you go with the flow and see how things end up and so far there has been bad parts but moslty good parts.
So this is it for now people...off to bed cause the kids will be up soon...for whoever decideds to read this let me know what u think and there will definatly be more of me...