Getting some help

So I found this website, my fitness pal.com, I am signed up to their site to help me with the last 80 lbs I have to lose. But I am now 200 lbs! 55 lbs gone now and there is a big  difference in everything. My attitude and energy and my overall feeling. No more negative feelings and all positive. Even my cloths. Most of all that, I am down to size 16 in my jeans now. I was in 22w and I am buying cloths in a large some xl but most large. I feel amazing but after I loose a few lbs I kinda slack and so nervous that I am going to get right back to where I started and I am not doing that.
Anyway back to exercising and feeling great :)

another huge hill to climb...

So all together now I have lost 46lbs! TOTALLY AWESOME! so that means I am officially 209 lbs. The last time I was this small was two years ago before I found out I was pregnant with baby number two I was 203 but the last time I was smaller then that was 5 years ago or six maybe. Its been a long time since I have seen below 200 lbs and I am so excited and so close to my goal. (short term goal. I make a bunch of them while trying to get to my long term goal because it makes it so much easier.)

But I have been 209 for a while now, with Christmas coming in and I have a bunch of special occasions around that time, as well as work I kinda slowed on the exercise for a bit but its all good its not that I gave up just had a little break. But I am back at it again with eating right and exercising as well as balancing it all out with work and family but just to get over this hill of 209 and get to 199, would love to see that number!

So I do have pics of me through this journey but still trying to get the courage to post them because I look terrible because I was so huge but my long term goal is to loose 80 lbs this year that would make me about 129 lbs which is around what I am suppose to be for my age and height. A normal healthy person has a BMI of 18 - 25 I think and my BMI is 42 I think which makes me obese. But not any more, I am doing this for me and for all the people who still want me around and for my husband and children because they need me and the bigger I got the sicker I got and that is not going to be me anymore.

I CAN DO THIS!

Another mile stone accomplished!

Well started a new job that keeps me on my feet for a long time, only started yesterday but its what I needed to get that last push and the last two pounds are now gone, so I am now down 30lbs! YAY ME!! now all I have to do is keep this up and loose another 20 by november. The doctor said 50 lbs a year was healthy. so short simple and to the point got to go, lots to do more weight to loose :)

just a little less :)

Well I have started to get back into it, its been a while and its been tough but well worth it and everytime I step on the scales I feel awesome [as long as the number is lower] and lately it has been. I am now down to 227! yeah thats right, only 2 more lbs and that will be 30 lbs gone!! this is awesome, I have never actually lost anything from trying and here I am with 28 lbs gone and that is awesome.
I still have a lot of work to do and everyday is a struggle, I don't feel so heavy in fact for the most part I feel great but its still hard to get up in the morning and its still really hard to get my exercising in, low motivation to get moving and hard to exercise with two kids in the house because all they wanna do is climb all over mommy...lol but its ok I have now got my husband in on it, although is a really fit [skinny] guy and dosen't need to he is doing it for me.
My support system is awesome and so glade that I have it, now if only I could get that extra little kick in the butt to get me moving faster with my workouts and doing a little more and even though I am eating better and less I am still not eating less enough or better enough.
This is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE and I still have a long way to go especially with keeping in mind that I am doing this for my health because its so hard to not want to just be skinny to be beautiful. From what we see on tv and everywhere in our society skinny is beautiful not fat but ladies remember that beautiful comes in many shapes and sizes, the best thing a woman can do is be confident and love herself which is so hard when there are so many people in life that want to bring you down for something, trust me I know.
well sorry to cut things short but busy busy

some dissapointment along the way...

So I have fell off my band wagon. I managed to get down to 231 which makes a total weight loss of 24 lbs! but i got a bad head cold the same time as my period along with both my kids last month and then had 5 family members here for two day and after that 4 left but one stayed for a week and I was miserable...anyway with all that family all we did was eat and with all that sickness all I did was sit or sleep and I gained about 4 lbs back :(
I have been trying for the last two weeks to get back on track from it and with no avail, I am still 4 lbs over and I feel sluggish and tired, I exercise a bit but then I am to tired to keep going, must be all this hot weather we have been having lately but either way its dissapointing and discouraging and my goal of being 199 by christmas seems to be going down the drain.
I try to watch some encouaging videos to get me back on track thinking that if they could do it then so can I but it is just so easy to get back into the rut I was before with just sitting and eating and feeling sorry for my self thinking that things are never gonna change and wishing I had someone there to make me change.
But you know what, actually seeing me write this down is really gross I am totally thinking that I can do this again I have to get out of this little rut and by christmas I shall be 199lbs!! or at least I hope so, I haven't been under 200 in 5 years and when I was in high school I was between 130 and 140 so that is my over all goal but for now just to get 36 lbs gone would be a blessing, yeah I think that is right (not the best at math...lol).
Well it may be short but lets see how I do gonna be really busy this summer so may not get another post in till the end of august, so on the last note hope everyone has a great summer and wish me luck!

Feelings

So how is everybody? I am doing great and not so great which is why I have named this post feelings. I am great because I have been dieting and exerciseing my but off for the last 30 something days and its HAS payed off people! 11 lbs gone as of this morning, which brings my weight down to 234! So since november of 2011 which I was at a weight of 255 I have lost 21 lbs and how awesome is that!!
Now to explain why I don't feel so great and that is because it is still taking to long to fit into smaller cloths or even get my original cloths to fit right, I look in the mirror and still see the same old me, the scales are moving and I feel a lot better, more energy and I don't feel sick as much anymore and its a great feeling really to start running around with the kids but I can't see the weight dissapearing. I know its gonna take time and I am not going to give up but still there is always the little voice in the bakc of my head saying that I can't do this. I am praying that little voice is wrong...
So I have been watching my calorie intake and walking a lot along with the tredmill, and exercise videos and running after the kids and cleaning the house but I haven't really changed what I eat still eat terrible but slowly starting to incorperate veggies into my diet ( I absolutly hate them) also eating less take out and more homecooked meals, cutting out snacks and high calorie foods but I have been trying this for a while because of my diabetes I have to watch what I eat as well.
My biggest down fall was over eating and chips, so I have cut down on how much food I eat and that was tough, felt like I was starving all the time, bad hunger pains so to curb that I would exercise and drink water, by the way mio is great to change the tast of water and there is no calories! as well I stopped chips to once a week or less and I am so proud of my self for what I have done so far.
Eventually I shall post pics. Another thing that helps me is knowing my long term goal which is 140 and then making mini goals along the way so to keep me at this like I am 234 so now I nee 4 more lbs gone then I will be 230! I like to get myself hyped up about it. Anyway that is it for now and I shall get back to ya when I have lost another 10 - 20 lbs!

Two Weeks in...

So I estimate that I am about two weeks into my exercise and counting calories maybe even a little more but I forgot to write on my calendar the day I started exercising and I have absolutly no memory, so I have a big calendar where I write everything that me and my family of four have to do but if I don't write down stuff right away I forget.
Anyway I have lost 4 lbs!!! yup four whole lbs, may not seem a lot to other people but for me that is just the start and it is a help to keep me going. So now I shall tell ya how I have been doing this starting with my calories because I have tried to count calories before actually twice before in the last five years I have been on at least five diets that never succeded but anyway counting calories is a HUGE PAIN!!! but I found an app for my ipod called My fitness Pal (calorie and diet counter) and it is awesome!
You put in how much you weigh me: 245 and your goal wieght me :145 and then it calculates how many calories you should be eating me: 1,240 a day to get me to the huge weight I am now I was eating more like 2,000 calories a day and no exercise for a lot of different reasons btw, don't just assume that someone is lazy.
Anyway this app is awesome you put in the food you eat and it can tell you how much calories the food is, it adds the calories and you can also add in your exercise as well so for example for breakfast I had corn pops and milk 160 calories and I had a 30 min walk pushing a stroller which burned 136 calories totally awesome it helps me keep track of everything I am eating now if you have diabetes it does not help you with that but I have my diabetes under control and I know what I am suppose to eat or drink for that.
Next thing is the exercise, I dance, walk, I have a tredmill, I have exercise videos and YOUTUBE people!! They videos may only be 10 min long there are some that are almost an hour but every min of exercise counts and I also go on youtube to keep me motivated to move because there are some day I would rather sit with a nice big bag of chips then to get up and move.
But I don't , I haven't given up the chips completly but I went from every night to one night a week and I feel great...that it for now but in a couple of weeks hopefully another good update for you.