I am FAT...

Ok let me give you some boring stuff to mentally chew on first. I am fat. There it is said, I have polycyctic ovarian disease and it keeps the weight on my and it is a struggle to get off a single pound. Also I am an emotinal eater since junior high, which is also when I became depressed because of a million different teenage reasons. Now with that said I was not fat in school but everytime I looked in the mirror fat was all I could see because some kids called it to me one day and I being totally and utterly stupid believed them.
I am fat now. I am not going to be one of those people to blame it on a disease but I will own up to the fact that it was mostly me because I gained most of my weight before being diagnosed with 'PCOD' and I do not have the will power to get rid of it.
Trust me I tried a million time and the closet I got was losing 30 pounds only to find out I am pregnant with child number 2 and to gain it all back again and more.I have tried to do the buddy system because I can totally work out better with other people then by myself but everytime someone is there for me its only once and then they are gone or they just don't bother at all.
Now knowing your fat and hearing it every damn day is two different things. I hate going outside to play with the kids or walk down the road or go to the store because people always ask when are you due? ( I had my baby number 2 nine months ago) so I laughingly say no I am just fat but the people who ask are people who see me around and know of me and some of them even know me!! if I was pregnant they would be one of the first people to know.
Look I am writing this just so people who read this can know that yes I am fat but there are alot of reasons and if you are one of those people who comment about fat people or say things to fat people then maybe you should consider first what is going on with them...I know everytime I hear it, it breaks me down a little bit more on the inside and the first thing I do is go eat because food makes me feel better and trust me I have tried everything that I could afford to not do this.
If you are fat like me just knowing someone out there is probibly going through the same thing right now feels good. You are not alone and even right now as we speak I am still trying to get this weight off but I am eventually going to tell people to F--- OFF if someone else asks me about my belly. People are so rude and should really learn to keep their comments to themselves.
I guess that is enough said...I shall keep you all posted on the weight issues.

Not Listening!

Well since in my life I feel their is a lot of people that don't listen to me I figured I would let it out here about how annoyed I am that EVERYBODY don't listen. I get people tell me that I am loud and I try to explain its  because I have to talk over everybody else to be heard..and I mean my kids and husband,parents and friends but they all seem to think that I don't but I do.
Even strangers don't listen. Honestly I think the world is gone def and nobody stops to listen to whatever everyone else is saying because they honestly don't give a crap what is going on with everyone else. Look I am not by any means saying that I am perfect but goodness...I listen more then the people I know anyway.
I am constantly listening to what I should wear or do with my life or how about listening to older people on how to raise my kids because they think they know better.
I am always arguing with my son cause he never stops to listen to what I am saying and that really bothers me and he gets it from his dad because he does not listen to me either. All my son does is cry and whine till he gets his own way or at least thinks he is going to get his own way and it never works..instead he ends up in trouble and still has to do what I told him to do but he could have saved an hour of arguing and not gotten in trouble just by saying 'yes mommy'...
LOL that is kind of what they told my husband to do at our wedding. Say 'yes dear' to everything and he would be fine :)
I sometimes just shut up and be quiet just so all the 'not listening and arguing and raised voices' can stop.Really what is so bad about listening to other people..I do it all the time and I am sorry if I am repeating myself but there is really not much else to say other then people don't listen to me and I have tried to say that and it just does not work.
I don't know maybe someday somebody will eventually get a clue...

The long road

Today is our 5th anniversary. Seems so small compared to other couples who have been together for 22 or 66 years or whatever but to us its still a huge mile stone.
Not like we have been on the edge of always leaving and it was a struggle to get here...we Love each other and always have, just our life took a different turn then we planned and through the ups and downs we have had time to relax enough to say "hey, we made it this far..." (LMAO)!
We had a nice relaxing supper...and anybody who has kids knows what i mean..relaxing meals are things of the past when u have little kids. We are constantly trying to get our oldest to sit down long enough to eat and our little one is constantly makeing a racket while we eat cause she wants our food or we aren't feeding her fast enough..so, we got a babysitter (bless my mother!) and we went out.
The food was great and like every mom or almost every mom I am guessing or at least every mom I know I was the whole time secretly wondering if the kids were all right even though I KNOW when they are with my mom they are just fine.
My gift from my husband on our anniversary was... wait for it...



Nothing....


last mintue he gave me a card.
The card discribed him to a T and it was very sweet but isn't it just like a guy to go ahead and forget about gifts..he did not forget it was our anniversary and remembered to be ready to go out for supper but that was all. yes i got him something and in fact i am not really that mad...just disapointed and totally saw it coming.
Well besides that nothing else much happend..we watched a movie and what else are you going to do right? once the little ones are in bed we just want to veg on the couch and we like it that way.
Nice to be with someone long enough to do nothing and I am sure that we are going to have more eventful years to come.

Oh Canada!

So its Canada's birthday again, happy Canada day everybody. Just figured that I would relay some of the events of the day...first starting with our little family of four all dressing in red and white, obviously for canada day. Then off to the celebrations.
Our celebrations consist of food and games for the kiddies..my son being old enough to participate had a blast and won some prizes and my daughter not being old enough to participate in the games was old enough to sit and watch the other kids run and play...and she had a blast!!
All in all it was a great family day. After everything was over it was still a nice enough day to go to the playground in which my son played with the other kids up there and my little girl slept while us adults sat around and chatted about nothing in particular.
Isn't that usually how it is, on beautiful days in which every one is just enjoying the day nobody really talks about anything important...I much rather it that way. Days that we can forget about the bills and worrying about everything else in the world and just sit and enjoy the day..play around and laugh and have fun. I don't think us adults have many of those days but when we do we sure do appreciate them.

I obviously took a lot of pictures...I am a picture nut! camera happy in every way taking over 400 almost every month...kinda feeling like if I don't then the kids will grow up to fast and I won't see it but they are great pics, and here they are. My two munchkins sittin on the hill and the canada flags spell out oh canada btw.
Also got to see some family today that I haven't seen in a while and it was great. Got to love these kind of days really and I know I am totally being repetative but it really was a great day, and I am going to leave it at that for now people and hopeing that you all had a great day as well.