starting my new journey..

So I read that when trying to lose weight I should write it down so here it goes. I have already lost some weight since november that is till now. Last november I was weighed in my doctors office and he said I was 255 lbs! yeah thats right, still really young and short and that much weight with two small children at home and also that day I found out I have type 2 diabeties (also many other factors besides the weight led to this but anyway) so since then I have learned to control my diabetes which is still under a learning based managment because I am fairly new and I guessed you just keep learning new ways on how to control it better, but anyway since that day till january I lost 13 lbs...yay me!
It didn't last for long because I weighed myself last night and I have gained three pounds :( so now I'm only 10 lbs lighter but that is better then none..so I woke up this morning thinking I can do this although I still secretly still have a fear that I can't but I started this morning working out and I haven't gotten much done but I do what I can.
I bought a tredmill a month or so ago so to use it and loose weight but besides today I have only been on it about twice now but I am going to start at least once a day along with some work out dvd's and my regular house work and chasing two kids and now that summer is here I am hoping to lose at least 40 to 50 lbs this summer. Losing 50 lbs will bring me down to 195 lbs and I haven't been that small in almost 5 years!
I miss it, I miss being smaller and healthyer and not feeling so sick and tired all the time, I hate walking into a store and having to settle for cloths instead of buy what I want beacuse what I want only fits size 0 -2 (like seriously what is up with that, do designers think that those are the only size women in the world or something) so anyway...here I go, I shall keep you all posted and hopefully I shall start losing, wish me luck!